Old Haunts

Sitting in the sunshine in Dalston, at my old favorite cafe, its hard not to wonder if you can ever truly get over your first loves.  Dalston was the first place I lived in London and there's something undeniably comforting about being back on familiar streets.  

I didn't know I was going to love Dalston the first time I laid eyes on it.  I remember looking at Kingsland Rd and wondering why anyone would ever want to walk up there!  All I saw was collection of shops selling junk and chicken.  Yet it's hipsters, with their uniform of rolled up jeans, art events, and quirky cafes with drinkable flat whites, an unusual feat 3 years ago in London, won me over.  To the point that I loved too the African hairdressers, and even the chicken shops that mark its diversity.  Its hard to let go of something that has wriggled its way unexpectedly under your skin. Still I'm reminded as I watch those around me repeating old patterns, and ending up in the same rut, it's healthy to move on.

Its seems obvious from the outside that continuing to hang out with or even holidaying with your ex is not going to help you get over them.  Yet, and I should know, as it's not only Dalston that has wriggled its way under my skin, when you are in the middle of it, even though you know it perpetuates it, saying no feels like denying your heart, and not following your heart is the worst feeling in the world! Neither am I the exemplar of how to solve these problems.  For the longest time a friend's ring tone for me, was 'Don't dream it's over'.

Yet what I do know is that what another friend told me at the time to ease my pain, was right. She said, you will love other people, it will be different, you will love them for other reasons, and as hard as it is now to imagine that you could love anyone else, you will truly love them.

Dalston will always be there. It's not going anywhere. I feel lucky that know it, but I feel lucky too that I learned to let other places into my heart.