The problem with positive thinking courses is that they make you feel guilty for feeling sad. The theory goes that I control my thoughts and hence my moods they induce. To be more exact, to think positively I'm supposed to pay more attention to my thoughts and just eliminate the negative ones, and hence if I'm feeling sad it is somewhat of my own making. They teach you too, its not just the negative thoughts that you should eliminate, but also the passive positive ones, i.e. no more day dreaming, another pastime I happily indulge in!
I learnt all this not as I'd hoped in an Ashram in India, where instead I met a guy who writes some of the most depressing songs ever, but in a basement in busy Covent Garden during a wet and dark winter. My teacher for the positive thinking course, was a Ukrainian Astro Physicist. At least, given her Eastern European accent and her esoteric references to her day job, this is what I like to imagine. Her ability to answer with stunningly simple common sense any of the strange questions the attendees would think up, helped me break down the barriers I usually put up to all this self help stuff. And for the most part I'm glad. It did help me stop wasting time. Time I wasn't really aware I was spending. On things I can't change!
The thing is though, on some level I actually like a bit of wallowing. Sometimes I want to spend an evening drinking straight gin and listening to Patsy Cline. Even if I do get some pleasure out of drinking the gin from a tiny little cup that says on it 'why are you so naughty?', and on the other side 'because I'm so happy', I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. After all, what I'd learnt meant that this sadness was all my choice, and even if I was enjoying it on some level, it certainly does not endear you to those around you, nor does it lead to productive days. At the same time though, sadness feels natural, and somewhat therapeutic. So it led me to pondering that there must be something good out of being sad. After all evolution tells you generally traits that are not useful don't stick around.
So what is the upside of down? The first thing that comes to mind is the old stereotype that depression is linked to creativity. Some googling quickly lead me to, along with a headline that I refused to click on claiming depression ages you, an quite insightful article on the topic. The article proposes that it is not the depression itself that generates the creativity, rather that it is the other way around. It points out that generally creative people are more reflective and more reflection along with leading to creativity leads more to depression. Makes sense, the positive thinking course too tells you that the more you reflect on negative thoughts the greater your troubles seem and the more likely you are to be depressed. And I know, that the days I'm sitting crying my eyes out on the couch are not days that lend themselves to checking a lot of things off my todo list, let alone creative output.
So what is the upside of down? The first thing that comes to mind is the old stereotype that depression is linked to creativity. Some googling quickly lead me to, along with a headline that I refused to click on claiming depression ages you, an quite insightful article on the topic. The article proposes that it is not the depression itself that generates the creativity, rather that it is the other way around. It points out that generally creative people are more reflective and more reflection along with leading to creativity leads more to depression. Makes sense, the positive thinking course too tells you that the more you reflect on negative thoughts the greater your troubles seem and the more likely you are to be depressed. And I know, that the days I'm sitting crying my eyes out on the couch are not days that lend themselves to checking a lot of things off my todo list, let alone creative output.
So if thats not it, what then? The theory they propose is that it leads us to face up with what is wrong in our life and make some changes. This goes in direct opposition with what I learnt at the positive thinking course, which just tells me to eliminate these ruminations and instead focus on change by being excited by possibilities. I see this can work, but sometimes I just don't think it is dramatic enough, not in the same way an evening emptying out your soul can be, to induce the change required. And while I agree that most days the course is right, these thoughts are just a waste of time. I've decided, if despite my best efforts, I find myself in a mood to wallow, then that's ok, it just means its time for a little bit of life spring cleaning! And hell, if there was no wallowing, there would be no Patsy Cline, and in my opinion, the world would be a little worse off without the heartbreak.
