Through the Giant Apple..

She woke up and rubbed her eyes, that's strange, she thought, stories like this always end this way, its all topsy turvy to be starting out this way, but anyhow her alarm was ringing so she had not time to think about it, she had to go to work.  She went downstairs, patted her pet dinosaur on the head and opened the giant red apple that led out into the world.  It was rather odd that no-one had taken a bite of the apple it was rather big and juicy looking, but she was glad it had stayed that way, she preferred things clean and crisp!

She was wearing a bright purple and blue tie-dye ensemble.  She fitted right in. There had been a big renaissance in tie-dye recently.  After all it was only a matter of time before something as great as tie-dye caught off again!  She danced down to the canal and waited for the next boat to turn up.  She was glad to see a deck chair was still free, she got on. She loved this time of year, she took a deep breath in, ah, you could really smell the foxgloves in the breeze as you glided along.

She got off, happy to see her friends were already there.  "Hey Inger! Hey Hannif! Hey Lili! Hey Mike!", it was good to have them close by after all they had helped write this story. She couldn't stop to chat for too long though, the first activity of the work day, morning yoga was about to start and she was a little late, some things never change! After yoga they all went off eager to get on with their days work, looking forward to seeing each other at the concert that evening.  The Backstreet boys were doing a live ukulele score to the movie 'Back To The Future'.   She was surprised to find out some people have never seen the movie!

Inger went off to climb, she was a spectacular climber.  I'm not sure what she was climbing today but they were sure to hear about her feats that night, if not before, she had a sizeable fan base on social media.  Hannif was planning which 5 star restaurant/hotel to review, while shinning his champagne glasses for his next party.  He was a fantastic host, everyone thought so, but especially the Portuguese, they were his greatest fans.  Lili was working on her latest song, she wrote the most beautiful lyrics, they were so pretty people copied them onto notes and left them all over the city to remind people how wonderful things could be. She had a large following of wide eyed male musicians, who all wanted to collaborate with her, and for some reason especially if their name started with R.  Mike had in fact helped out with the Backstreet boys ukulele score, unsurprisingly they needed a lot of help, it was through him that they had tickets to tonights gig. But he was really famous for playing guitar, though his gigs were an exclusive affair, he only played for people who were deemed cool enough.  Unless you were wearing tie-dyed skinny jeans you weren't getting in! And she, she went off to write her next story, or rather finish this one..

After the concert she came back happy but exhausted and fell into a deep sleep. She had a very odd dream that night.  She dreamt that instead of tie-dye she was wearing only black, she didn't have a pet dinosaur, in fact no pets at all, her flat was too small! Instead of her bright red apple door she had to go through a square door and down some stairs.  Instead of going by boat to work she had to take a rather large vehicle with everyone jammed in, and it smelled like petrol not foxgloves, which in fact didn't smell like anything at all.  She went to work in a building equally as square as her door and sat there stiffly all day, with no yoga breaks, with lots of others doing the same. They weren't really sure why they were doing what they were doing, and if you asked the people they were doing it for, neither were they!  Everyone assumed someone up there knew the reason why, but the truth was no-one did.  And the strangest thing of all no-one danced anywhere.  She wondered what was wrong with them? Were they not happy?

Can Men and Women Truly Be Friends?

I might be about to get myself in trouble here, as I certainly have friends who are of the male persuasion, but here we go, "Fasten your seatbelts, its going to be a bumpy night"...

If I'm truly truly soul searchingly honest about all my male friendships, I doubt very much that they are platonic.  There is in every case some element of attraction there.  And, I'll go as far as to say, I suspect this is true of all male/female friendships.  

First, before you raise your hands in descent, let me define "friend".   I don't mean someone that you're happy chatting with when they happen to be around.  By friend, I mean someone you share personal details with, someone you call up for a chat, someone you hang out with just the two of you. 

But still, "Wait!", I hear you cry, I definitely have friends, as you define as above, that I'm not attracted to.  But here's the thing.  The attraction doesn't have to be on your side, it can be on either side to make it work.  After all, we all enjoy a little attention.  Finally, you cry with a whimper, "But they are in a relationship!"  Don't kid yourself, being in a relationship, happy or not, doesn't stop you being attracted to people.  Stop and think about it for a bit, and be truly truly honest.  

The thing is, I think males and females are fundamentally different.  Different enough that the friendship doesn't work unless lubricated by a little attraction.  For example, I definitely know guys that I have stuff in common with, but with whom I haven't tried to pursue a friendship with.  I've been asking myself why, and I think it simply comes down to the fact that I can't imagine sitting down and chatting with them for a long period of time.  Even though we have things in common, men and women approach how we get from topic A to topic B in different ways, the social glue is just different.  You only have to compare lunch conversations you would have with a group of guys versus lunch conversations you would have with a group of girls to understand what I mean.  When its just my males colleagues we/they talk about external events, what politician said what, who won the snooker, who's going to do well in the world cup, some kind of mammoth feat of driving really fast or long.  I sit there trying to piece together what little scraps of information I know about these things to join in, or if I'm lucky, find enough to direct the conversation elsewhere.  With my female colleagues it's all more personal, what's going on with their partners, their friends, their houses, ok, and the cliche, what handbag/dress do you think I should buy?  These things I find infinitely easier to relate to.  Somehow, whether it is a societal construct or not it, the end result is, it is just different stuff that makes us tick. 

Yet throw some attraction in the mix and it is a whole different story!  Wether we like to admit it or not our basic instinct in life is to procreate, and faced with a possible mate, we suddenly develop a whole new level of interest in the other person.  Getting from topic A to topic B is no longer a problem.  We want to know, what kind of pet they had growing up?  What side of the bed do they sleep on?  What food can they not stand?  All the stuff we are usually not interested in suddenly becomes fascinating when we are attracted to someone.  I've had people describe this to me as a flirting dance.  Sometimes  the dance will end in a relationship, sometimes nothing, and sometimes when you are a match, but not quite enough of one, you become friends instead.  

So how do these friendships work?  Generalising grandly there are two main categories I see them falling into.  Either you are both attracted to each other physically, but the personality is not enough of a match to enjoy spending a lot of time together, i.e. you probably enjoy flirting with each other but are equally happy to say goodbye.  Or secondly, your personality is a match but one side is attracted and the other not.  In which case the friendship works as one person enjoys the attention and the other giving it.

So this begs the question, is it ok?  I think for the most part it is.  I certainly value my male friendships.  And aside from the fact that I concur with my Grandmother's once given wisdom, that there is nothing wrong with a little flirting, I value them also because they give another perspective on things.  One which is often invaluable, not least when I'm involved in another one of those flirting dances, my male friends manage to cut through to the heartbreaking truth with an ease that my female friends are not able to do.

The problem though is that from time to time the line in these friendship can blur, and it can be heartbreaking when it does.  Sometimes for whatever reason one person's needle of attraction tips too far.  I have personally been involved in one of these needle tipping friendships, and while it was heartbreaking for him, it also screwed with my head.  For a while I lost a friend, I didn't know how to behave anymore, I blamed myself for leading him on, I second guessed everything he or I did.  We've healed now and are still friends, time and distance have helped, but it has made me a little bit more cautious, and a little bit more honest about my friendships.

  

Yet surprisingly, despite all these muddy waters, I still believe the answer to my original question, "Can Men and Women truly be friends?", is Yes!   As sometimes you find a friendship where for whatever reason you can be secure in the knowledge the needles will never tip, and despite the attraction, you can treat each other plain and simply as a friend.  If this is the case, you should congratulate yourself for navigating the perilous seas and pay homage to the  bermuda triangle you are in, as it is truly a rare and beautiful place.

Primavera Sound - 3 Days in Music Heaven

I have an inkling that you might have to be music mad to truly enjoy Primavera in bad weather.  Good thing that my needle runs to the totally insane level of music madness.  I loved even the minutes I was sheltering from the Thunder storm!  Here's how it went down..

The Music

Best Hair: La Sera 

Along with her bubblegum pop sound and rather high pitched American voice, she has the kind of hair that is so annoyingly good, that even after head thrashing along to her heavier songs looks perfect.

Biggest Disappointment: Real Estate 

I love listening to their music, but sadly not their awkward stage presence.  Hopefully they'll learn.

Biggest Surprise: Haim

Despite only really being taken by two songs, I'm glad I didn't miss this one.  Their sound was far from the pop I was expecting having listened to their album.  In fact these girls rock!  And they certainly know how to work a crowd.  From Este's crazy facials (see video), to a Drum beating jam.  Este asked  "Are you with me on my spiritual journey Spain?".  We sure were!

Weirdest Act: Connan Mockasin

Even though Este Haim is insane, I have to give it to Blood Orange's new friend, Connan Mockasin, the prize for this one.  Walking out in a blonde wig, head scarf and a white jump suit, along with his keyboardist who looked like the Elvish Queen had stepped right out of Lord of the Rings, was just the start.  I wasn't sure how his spacey sound would be live, but the weirdness carried it off.  At times it felt like we were in the cult of Connan as he raised his arms, and the crowd willingly followed suit.    May not be to everyone's taste but I found him strange but wonderful. 

Best Stadium Act: Foals  

I like my rock n roll with ego, and ego oozes out of every pore of the Foals' frontman Philippakis.  Despite playing at 2 in the morning, the place was buzzing.  Their stage act is nothing short of slick, from the drummers standing call to arms, to  Philippakis' crowd surfing while still playing guitar, it would be hard to walk away not amped from this gig. Leaving during their last song, as my companion had to get to the airport, was one of my most heart breaking moments of Primavera.

Coolest Dude (and music you can most get down to): Blood Orange 

Somehow he made looking like Milli Vanillli has stepped right out of the 90s into the present day cool, and that's no mean feat!  I really enjoyed getting my white arse down to this one, and so did the crowd.

Best Mosh Pit: Cloud Nothings  

Probably playing at a stage too small for their following,  I found myself in the heart of my first mosh pit in years.  Not sure my friend, who didn't really know the band, was so impressed by getting pushed around by the 6"4 guy beside her, but jumping around to "Stay Useless", I loved it. 

Next Big Thing: Future Islands

I knew it was going to be good before it started, yet still I was blown away.  I can't see how a man with this much passion, and crazy dance moves, can possibly stay playing smaller stages.  Truly living every moment of every song, with passionate hand movements and wistful glances, he made you feel like he was looking straight at you!  I love the lyrics, I love the sound. The mixture of 80s love song with occasional guttural metal vocals, works well with the passion.  Another heartbreaking moment is that I missed getting pictures of the crazy antics, stupid iphone!

Music that will stand the test of time: The War on Drugs 

So it seems ever since I walked into Brick Lane and looked and Kurt Vile in the eye, we have a thing.  So it is no surprise that Adam Granducie's  curls and a slight country sound are reminiscent of Vile, as not only does he haunt all my music posts, but he used to be in the band!  Despite Granducie taking forever to set up, and being a bit of dick to the audience as we waited, by literally addressing us with "blah blah blah you guys are great", I forgave it all when the music started!  Kurt might have taken my eye with his curls and sneaky smile, but this music cuts straight to the heart.  I love it when a sound speaks for itself.  A little bit country, a little bit rock, a little bit spacey, totally beautiful, I could listen to this all day!

Best Quote: Angel Olsen 

"Its hard to play a sad song when you are happy, and its hard to play a happy song when you are sad". Clearly enjoying herself just before she closed Primavera for me with White Fire, which starts,  "Everything is broken it all just falls apart.."

The Festival

Best thing to smuggle into primavera: Bottle caps. 

For some reason they are insistent on taking the caps off your water bottles, not only the ones you bring in with you, but also the ones you buy on the venue.  No worry, after learning this we just brought them in wrapped in our jumpers, and hey presto, we could buy a bottle of water that we didn't have to drink on the spot.

Thing I most wish I had: Hover shoes.

To put a buffer between me and the hard concrete.  Standing for 9-10hrs a day my feet fucken hurt.  In fact they still hurt now and I'm on the plane on my way back.

Best Advice: Go to the front!  

A guy I used to go to gigs with in Amsterdam taught me this, and its changed my whole live music experience.  Not only can you see, but the energy is better and you don't feel out of place shaking your arse.  You might think it's not possible at the festival, but apart from the stadium headliners, it totally is.  For a lot of the earlier acts all you have to do is walk around all those clueless people standing miles back, go in from the side, and voila, you are able to look the artist in the eye.  For some of the later smaller stage acts, it means being there 10-20 mins early, but its worth it, trust me!

Best accessory:  My vintage 1980s wool jacket.  

Not because its so cool and styly, although it is, but just because it was lightweight and warm.  It might be Barcelona at the end of spring, but it can still be cold.  Nothing worse than having to bail on the festival because you are freezing.

Best stroke of Luck:  Finding ourselves 2 mins walk away from possibly the only shelter in the whole venue as a massive thunderstorm hit.  

We sat the whole thing out having a picnic of our snacks, stayed dry and warm, and came out it time to watch the rest of Joana Serrat's set, with the back drop of a giant rainbow.

Best thing about it being in Barcelona:  The Beach.  

Sadly it wasn't the sunniest weather, but Sunday was glorious.  When you've come home at 4:30am, spending the day lying on the sand after a meal of sea food tapas, is heaven!  

Would I do it again?  Hell Yes!  I'm already having music withdrawals!