On Island Time - Would you ever go back?

Years ago, before I left NZ shores, a friend returned for a holiday from her new life in England.  It was her first trip back and she said she was surprised at how "quaint" NZ seemed.  Quaint!  I was very offended, what do you mean my life is quaint??  After all I was well educated, I had a good job, I was living in the inner city, of the biggest city nonetheless!

Years later, after having lived overseas for 6 years now, I'm loathe to admit I kind of know what she means.  Its not exactly that I think NZ is quaint, I still wouldn't choose that word, but it does strike me as very much an island, on island time.  Even in the parts of town that I used to see as posh, I feel out of place in my London clothes amongst the sea of t-shirts, jandals, and slacks! Standing out like a sore thumb in my own country, it's hard not to think about the question that everyone eternally asks you about NZ,  "Would you go back?"  And as you stay away for longer, "Would you ever go back?"  I'm not sure I'm ready to answer that question, but its hard not to weigh the pros and cons.  

Despite my initial shock when I returned home for the first time after 3 years, that all the buildings looked quite flat and industrial, you'd have to morbidly depressed not to notice how pretty the country is.  I think, even if you put aside the fact that everything looks better in the sunshine, it is stunningly beautiful. And, I must admit, it's much nicer to look out on green hills and trees listening to the sound of a dog barking and sheep baaing than the constant chorus of sirens and vista of grey rooftops that you get on a London street.   Plus everyone wandering around in their shorts and jandals in the sunshine does seem very chilled out, and friendly.  Certainly being relaxed is a benefit not to be undervalued!

Still it surprised me to hear from some friends who have moved back saying how Kiwis aren't really as friendly and laid back as our reputation proposes.  In truth its not the first time I've heard this story, a Turkish guy I dated for a while while back in NZ for a summer, also complained about how unfriendly, and he added, racist, Kiwis were.  Maybe its the sunshine in my eyes, but I think this is more of a universal story of moving country when you're older.  People have jobs, families, well established friend groups and well, simply less time to go out and socialize with random people. I must say I had numerous friendly interactions with strangers while back.  Conversations with train attendants concerned that I was wasting my money not buying the travel card, especially as I was going all the way to Pukekohe!  A guy at the airport wanting to know who was picking us up, helpfully pointing out if it wasn't a taxi we were in the wrong place. The woman on the plane, whom seeing I was clearly in pain due to my ears, offered me lots of helpful advice.  A random guy joining in on the conversation I was having with my friend about my love woes, "The guy's just a bit stupid", he said.  Actually unfortunately I think it might be me who's being a bit stupid/niave.    

One thing that has struck me on this trip back, though, is that NZers can be quite assertive even a little aggressive.  A number of times on the train people have not had tickets and have refused to get off, we have no gates stopping you from just walking on the train.  I was impressed to see how many others on the train have chimed in and hassled the person in question.  Not that it worked, but had this been London everyone's eyes would be securely looking at the floor.  On one occasion though, a young lad had decided to start smoking on the train, when cries of "Put out the smoke mate!", fell on deaf ears, an older Maori guy really got annoyed.  Standing up, cursing him, he threatened to take him on in a fight! The young guy, either out of some sort of strange respect, or possibly a bit threatened by the size differential, which he may have weighed up as overcoming any benefit youth would give him, cursing back announced he was getting off at this stop anyway.  I'm in two minds about if the old man went too far, after all nothing happened.  But I certainly was shocked by what some undesirables shouted at me on K-Rd after ignoring their cries for attention, "I hope you get raped" was their parting greeting to me.  Charming NZ!

So what's my answer?  Would I ever?   The truth is I don't know, for now at least I think I'm just content to  blow where life takes me.